On Sergio Garcia

Last week The Asshole noticed an article previewing the Dubai Open on the Euro tour. The thrust was that a victory in the tourney would get Sergio Garcia back into the top-10 in the world ranking. Since going through some personal problems a few years ago, Garcia (now 33) has played very well the last couple of seasons, winning on both major tours and winning his singles match in the "best Ryder Cup comeback that wasn't the Americans' Ryder Cup comeback at Brookline".

I've always liked Sergio. His duel with Tiger at Medinah was awesome. He consistently played great in the Ryder Cup when I rooted exclusively for the Euros (I've since obtained my US citizenship so I can't lose, Bitches). He's starred in some pretty funny commercials (with Ernie and the hackers for TaylorMade and when he intentionally hit his ball into the hot girl's pool in an ad for...Michelob? Is that right? I don't remember) Finally, and most importantly, he got pissed off when he lost. He bitched about the golf gods when Padraig beat him at Carnoustie (in fairness his putt to win on 18 could've dropped and hitting the stick and bouncing 25 feet away in the playoff is a shit break), criticized the shape of Augusta and then his own game when playing Augusta and got so mad when Padraig beat him again at the PGA that he admitted to wanting to punch the Irishman in the head. I mean, what's not to love? He's an emotional guy. He's the rare pro who gives an honest, in-the-moment answer, yet clearly doesn't take himself too seriously off the course.

So back to that preview article: Anytime a player is featured in a preview article, he's bound to be mentioned throughout the tournament for better or worse. But last week, Sergio was neither...he was pretty good. He put himself in good shape opening with rounds of 68 and 67, but couldn't break 71 on the weekend and settled for a t-17. To go with his t-2 the week before, the Spaniard has had a VERY competent start to the season. And yet, to read the articles about the event, one would think that Sergio has basically ruined it. He hurt his shoulder in the second round and almost withdrew, but was playing so well he kept playing and was t-8 heading into the weekend. Now Sergio did say "Unfortunately we started playing well", a poor choice of words perhaps, but his point, as any non-idiot can see, is that playing well made the withdrawing decision decidedly more difficult than if he'd been playing like dog balls and that was unfortunate...for his shoulder! But the media were super-quick  to print headlines like: "Sergio Laments Good Play". It's manipulative bullshit. Other players would be called tough as nails for gutting it out, but because Sergio gives writers an honest answer (the type of answer they claim to never receive) about the complexities of playing with an injury when you're in form in a long season they do what they always do: make Sergio look like a dick. Cut to Sunday's final round when Sergio, now out of contention and probably still hurting, gets a bad lie in a bunker, hits a shit shot and then takes a few frustrated swings at the sand and turf. Golf.com presented this 5-second episode as a "meltdown". Really??? I think we've seen worse. Much worse. From Sergio.

All of this is to say that I think the golf media's treatment of Sergio is willfully stupid, unfair and kind of dumb. The guy is good for the game, but most who cover the game are desperate to find another "incident" so they can cover Sergio the same way they've always covered him. So I guess it's willfully stupid, unfair, kind of dumb and...lazy.

I think Sergio wins the Open this year.

On Ian Baker-Finch

Ian Baker-Finch seems like a nice guy. He was, for a period, a very good golfer. He won the Open Championship and then lost his game (sounds like someone else this blog loves...). At one point it got so bad that he missed the opening fairway at St. Andrews. The opening fairway at St. Andrews is approximately 2 football fields wide. I mean, I could miss it, but Ian Baker-Finch is a professional golfer. A professional golfer shouldn't miss that fairway unless he gets shot on his downswing. Well after Ian hit the worst golf shot in the history of professional golf, he retired and joined the ABC broadcast team. This was way back when ABC actually covered golf and Peter Aliss (God love him) was a staple on American airwaves joining the late, great Bob Rosburg, the late great Dave Marr and the always entertaining because of his ridiculous southern accent Steve Melnyk ("DOOOO-val with a five-airon"). Anyway, when ABC gave up golf (retaining the Open Championship only), Baker-Finch was scooped up by the CBS golf team. (CBS, it seems, will give anyone an announcing contract provided they used to play and have a funny accent. At some point I will write 10,000 words about the CBS announce team.) So now Ian Baker-Finch has a job on the premier announcing squad. He handles Amen Corner at Augusta and at most other tournaments gets the 17th tower, a fairly prestigious gig. The problem is Ian Baker-Finch is a crappy announcer. He talks incessantly (I'm always waiting for a player to back off a putt, look up at the tower and tell him to shut the fuck up), says little of importance (he is the King of useless and irrelevant anecdotes...I don't care who player X's neighbor in Scotsdale is!!!), and his charming Aussie accent and Aussie-isms are...well...irritating. For example, he never uses the plural of the word foot. Now hold on, you say, that's common in golf as in "Tiger's got a 12-foot putt". True, I reply, but Baker-Finch extends his use of the singular foot to ridiculous extremes. When a ball lands on the 17th green leaving a putt of 23 feet, Baker-Finch says "Look at that, good shot there, leaves himself 23 foot up the hill...coincidentally that's also the distance between his bed and toilet at his house in Jupiter, Florida, lovely place, great big tree in the back yard, plenty of shade, you can enjoy a cocktail or soda on the back porch and just lovely." Shut up, Ian.

Yesterday, in the final round of the San Diego Open (I refuse to call these tournaments by their sponsor names) played on Monday because of the Saturday fog delay, Ian Baker-Finch joined Sir Nick Faldo in the 18th tower because Jim "Hello Friends" Nantz was already on his way to New Orleans where he is calling the Super Bowl. Well...give Ian an inch he'll take 5280 foot. Non-stop babble from start to finish. Indeed on the last green, Ian started talking when a graphic of All-time Tour Victories was put up showing Snead, Woods and Nicklaus and kept chatting through Billy Horschel's closing birdie and right through Tiger tapping in for the win and didn't shut up until Feherty had grabbed Tiger for the post-round chat. He is the 2013 Verbal Diarrhea Leader in the Clubhouse.